as gaudy as poppies

Grappling with a lot of things from my past.
With my great grandma in the hospital I can’t help but think of when my grandad declined. Anything relating to death or hospitalized illness makes me immediately go back to that and freeze up. I was told visiting right now wouldn’t be a good idea because she wasn’t really aware of what’s going on and that brought me back to seeing my grandad struggle to remember who I was and going in and out of the hospital where I got used to the daily visits after school. But I felt helpless and knew as much as he struggled to recognize me, I’d never really get to know him. That I should have spent more time with him. I’ll always feel that regret.

I also followed a train of thought that was bugging me. And I brought back something I was trying to repress. It was the reason I gave up pursuing writing and journalism. I had forgotten that was something I really wanted to do, that I had at one point considered it my future. I want to write it out in full detail because I remember it all now, better than most memories and I want it out, but at the same time it feels weak. At least trauma-wise.

When I decide when a day is a day not to leave the house, I stick to it.

And today was decided so because I feel immense guilt over everything.

I look like a real winner with this freezer bag on my head to do this scalp treatment

jackanthonyfernandez:

It’s in the treesThey’re coming

jackanthonyfernandez:

It’s in the trees
They’re coming

Slept for 15 minutes and woke up to him snuggling my foot lookin at me like this

Slept for 15 minutes and woke up to him snuggling my foot lookin at me like this

*wipes phone screen on breast*

It’s his place to think ‘bout some stuff and bathe a lil

Got that cold medicine stare

Got that cold medicine stare

There were two Yorkies in this car I almost cried

There were two Yorkies in this car I almost cried

milkattack:

my room mate informed me of a bizarre chain of events happening in our towns craigslist m4m missed connections section, basically there is a crazy halloween party that has been happening since 1970 and no one can remember where its located, the first picture is the first post made about it and the ones after are replies from other ppl who have gone to this mystery party, in short it’s my new life goal to somehow make it to this creepy ass phantom party (& even if it’s just someone trolling I still thought it was cool and spoopy)

Charming

Charming

anyway on a totally different note, I’m going to need a side by side gif set of zayn putting his hand down his pants with the one where he’s failing to get his hand in his pocket. For art.

I’ve never seen a creature more like myself

I’ve never seen a creature more like myself